...kindergarten registration...

I woke up last Friday morning, checked the time, remembered it what day it was, and immediately started crying.

You see today, my friends, was the day I registered my teeny tiny, 6 pound 3 ounce, 19 inch long, red headed, baby girl for kindergarten. A day I have been dreading for the past 5 years and 5 months.

I cried for about a minute and then put on a brave face and headed downstairs to find both of my babies watching cartoons. I made them oatmeal while fighting back tears and unloaded the dishwasher while doing some deep breathing and trying to distract myself.

After breakfast, I put the kids in the bath and went to the living room to turn on the news. My mind raced as I caught up with everything that happened overnight with the Boston bomber situation. Selfish as it may be, my first thought was for my own family. I thought, this?? This is the world I'm about to send my baby out into? A world where people shoot you and blow you up??? No thanks! I'll keep them home and we'll sing songs, color pictures, watch Toy Story and eat banana bread and popcorn for the rest of our lives...and then, for the the 64th time, I decided to home school my children.

THEN for the 65th time, I decided not to.

I recalled a few conference talks and quotes and scriptures to help me suck it up. You know the ones that talk about trusting God, and having faith, and relinquishing anxiety ridden, OCD control issues to a higher power. It helped. :)

I went back to the bathroom and in my bravest, fakest excited voice, I reminded Macy that TODAY was the day we were going to sign her up for school!!! She was ELATED, as was Luke. Poor guy thought he was getting to sign up to. We had a long talk about Macy going to school, and Lukey staying home with Mommy and the new baby, and then when Macy got home, we would all eat snacks, play, and hang out. Luke seemed ok with the plan and Macy was still over the moon and buzzing with questions.

We picked Rich up from work and headed to the elementary school. Even though I was "super excited" on the outside my heart was pounding out of my chest while we approached the school. As we walked through the doors, Rich whispered to me, " This is the saddest thing we've ever done."

If you can't tell, we are obsessed with our children. Rich and I love being parents and we spend MOST of our time thinking about our kids, talking about our kids, or doing things with our kids. It can be debated this kind of infatuation with your children is unhealthy, but we'll save that debate for another day, or never. :)

As we entered the school and walked into the kindergarten wing, our little girl lit up from the inside out. She was smiling from ear to ear, introduced herself to every person she met and immediately started asking every kid she met, if they wanted to be friends. Luke on the other hand, took one step inside the classroom and then instantly turned around and with tears in his eyes, he told me... "I'm gonna miss my sis-toe" I leaned down, gave him a big hug and said " I'm gonna miss your sister too, but she is going to have so much fun and so are we!" I didn't believe myself, but hopefully Luke did.

A few filled out forms and photo copies later, she was officially signed up. In 4 short months, I will drop her off for her first day of school, and then proceed to drive home, crawl into bed, stay there for weeks.

Let the record show kindergarten is ALL DAY kindergarten here. No half day fun times, but 6 looong hours. Also for the record, I see the dramatic theatrics in my behavior and words, although you must know that I cannot help myself. Let it also show that I fully recognize that of all the things that would cause one to cry and hyperventilate, starting kindergarten is LOW on the list. However it's just how my big, emotional, 9 month pregnant brain feels. Last statement for the record is that despite my inner torture and angst, I've thus far been able to keep my goal of showing Macy only 100% excitement and joy and none of my wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I haven't cried since leaving the school and I think it's a combination of 2 things. I LOVE Macy's new school. I like the teachers, the staff, the school, and the playground, the everything. Also, immediately following registration, Rich treated us to pizza at my favorite pizza place in all of Montana, where I feasted on delicious pizza and drank a big, fat, icy, Diet Dr Pepper.

Hug your little babies, my friends because they grow up. WAY. TO. FAST.