Attention All Homeless People Or People That May Become Homeless....

Today.. I hope that someone who is homeless is reading my blog. Why, you ask my sweet ,sweet, stinky, homeless friend?? Because, I have a brilliant plan for you. I have devised this plan over the past year and feel as though it's time to share with the world...well maybe not the world..But my blogger friends. Ok...this is what you do. If you are/or perhaps find your self homeless... this is what you do. You stand outside of Joann's fabric store or Deseret Book here in Utah Thursday-Sat for about 4 hours and hold up a sign that say's " I need money, and you need blessings." Here you are guaranteed to get all the super nice and generous wealthy mom's and old cute ladies  just passing out their husbands hard   earned  cash money money.  Rotate your stores along the Wasatch front, because  you don't want to be annoying. Let's say you collect $150  a week...EASY. SO that's $600 a month. This is what you do. You get a gym membership. for $30 a month at the most. Then you get a library card. FREE. You get an ipod ( one time purchase of a few hundred) and a personal DVD player( again one time pmt of a couple hundred dollars).  At the gym you can shower, shave, go for a swim, relax in a hot tub, and shoot hoops...all for $30 dollars a month. Then at the library you can get on the Internet for free, load up your Ipod with motivational speakers, check out books AND dvd's for your little player and spend your day reading books, listening to music and watching free dvds. Then every other day you alternate between eating at a fast food place, and Chuck-a-Rama Buffet. For 10 bucks you can sit there and fill up your hungry little homeless tummy for hours and hours... and go at 330pm so you pay lunch prices, but can stay through when they bring out the yummy stuff for dinner. Now you have....roughly $300 left over per month after gym fees and eating good food everyday. So go buy yourself 8 outfits and use the laundry mat once a week. You can wash 7 outfits while your wearing the eighth...be sure to reserves one stinky yucky smelly outfit for when you are asking for money in exchange for blessings. Over a few months use your left over money to acquire a tent, air mattress, sleeping bag, pillow, fuzzy warm socks and just camp at Koa campgrounds for less than $8 a night.Man, oh , man do I have this figured out... Not too shabby huh??