Let's be honest. I don't like drop in visitors. You know, when people just knock on your door un announced?? Mostly because 90% of the time, my house looks like this...
You buy yellow Windex, right???
No? Um...you totally should.
Nothing meets Kellie Knapp cleanliness standards until it's been misted with a light layer of yellow Windex. It's ANTI BACTERIAL, people! Something blue Windex is not. PLUS it has a lemony “no, for real, this smells super duper clean” smell to it that pretty much gives me a contact high. I just checked and I have a bottle of yellow Windex in each bathroom, 2 in the kitchen and 3 in the garage on my “ backup cleaning supply” shelf. That is 7 bottles of yellow Windex under one roof. What can I say, I'm a believer. I've converted a handful of people to yellow Windex and I hope to convert you as well. Go, buy, smell, disinfect, and thank me later. PS Windex did not pay me for this....Windex doesn’t even know who the heck I am. Although when I'm famous I will gladly endorse their product in trade for a lifetime supply of yellow Windex. All this talk makes me want to go take a whiff right now....ah?
Your husband takes your kids out in public like this, right???
No?
We live a half a mile from Whitefish Lake, and apparently my husband thinks the dress code is "cross dressing, ghetto fabulous".
It's cool that I bought the Justin Beiber CD today, right???
There I was, perusing Amazon and next thing I know the 13 year old girl version of me with a nasty case of Beiber fever had purchased the whole cd. I told my redhead what I'd done and he was like...”um, Ok??” Don't act like you don't shake your bootie to “Boyfriend” everytime you hear it. Although, I do think he looks like a girl who wants to look like a boy,even though he really is a boy...right???
Deodorant gives you cancer, right?
Every SINGLE time I've put on deodorant for the last 10 years, I'm think " Well, I really hope this doesn't give me cancer..."
EVERY. STINKING.TIME.
Who lives like this??? I think it, yet I still put it on?
Today I decided to put an end to the madness and at Target, I spent the extra $1.50 on the "Toms" brand, aluminum-free deodorant.. OF COURSE, I got the scent free kind because a long, long time ago, my BES FWEN informed me that "there are two things that should never be scented and those things are deodorant and tampons" How did I never know how much sense that makes? You are welcome for passing on that life changing advice. I will let you know if I'm cancer free in a a few years. And if I am, then it MUST be the switch to aluminum free right? ugh.
Your 4 year old daughter gets black eyes, right???
You should see the looks we get when we are out in public. We make sure we are extra nice and sweet to her because the second we yell at her in public, someone is going to see it, then see the black eye, and then call CPS.
Your husband read the Hunger Games, right???
I recently took the kids out of town, leaving my redhead to be a lone man in the wilderness for 7 days. He attended work meetings, went camping, took the raft out on the lake, cleaned the carpets and couches, and started reading the Hunger Games. WHAT?? My husband is no stranger to books, but most of the books he reads are church, political, or self improvement books. It's rare he reads fiction, but when he does, it's usually something like David Mccullough or something similar. So when I came home and he mentioned something about Finnick and Haymitch I was like “ Como say WHAAAT???” He saw the movie with me, so he started on book 2 ( much to my dismay) and read it quickly. We'll see how long it takes him to crack open the 3rd book. I know of husbands who have read it, but I would have never guess THIS husband would have read it. And just for the record... I LIKE IT.
6 comments:
My house looks 100x worse. I promise. And I have used yellow Windex but I'm more of a Clorox Anywhere spray gal. But I might just pick me up a bottle of the yellow stuff next time I'm at the store.
For the record, your house looks much better than mine does most days. And I loved the picture of your kids by the lake, but your added words made it better. And I won't admit to what else my husband has read... in addition to The Hunger Games.
Seeing as how I've never met Macy, is it weird that the entire time we were watching "Brave," I thought, "This is Kellie's kid"? And that's with my own redheaded entourage in tow!
Thank your husband for taking the kids out so you can have some peace and quiet, despite the ghetto fashion. It might be something that I would do too. Trent
Love the lake-side outfits! Especially Luke. Please tell me he is wearing princess pull ups because I do that to Jalen all the time. The only reason my kids don't have bruises all over themselves is because you just can't see them on their brown skin. I often say if they were white CPS would be notified because they are bumped and scraped all over. As for reading, my husband doesn't have time to read anything but music history - so sad. And my house is always perfectly clean because my kids never drop things on the floor and immediately pick up after themselves. (Oh, and I never yell at them or even lose my temper.) We're pretty much perfect.
Who is going to play Finnick is all I want to know?
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