The Knapp Family: ...camping genius...

Monday, August 1, 2011

...camping genius...

Let's talk about why I'm absolutely positive, if there was an award for Camping Queen Mama, I'd FOR SURE be nominated and more than likely win. Let's also talk about why...

#1. I actually GO camping. Which is more than a lot of people I know can say.... What's more, is I even camp in foreign countries, ( ok Waterton Lakes National Park, in CANADA, but still) and I pack along my young, heathen-like children who run all over everywhere, yell all day and all night, and get dirt in places I didn't know they had.

I did not take this picture...I don't know who did, but google images does...I or Rich did take all the other pictures here though.

#2. I make KILLER Monkey Bread in the dutch oven. I'm still dreaming of it 2 days later. Even with that unsavory looking piece of macaroni hiding out amongst the carmel, this picture is making me drool and reminisce of our time together.

#3-5. While camping, I'm constantly armed with baby wipes, a mini potty and bear spray. Here's why...
-Baby wipes, although commonly used to wipe small children's hiney's, are a NECESSARY part of camping. Camping can be an icky, not so fresh, experience. However, if you do a little mid-day, stripdown/wipedown, and throw on some fresh undies??? You'll smell sweet as a daisy and be ready to face the second half of your communing with nature adventure. Also, wipes are perfect for wiping those aforementioned parts of your children, that somehow get dirty... I swear it takes skills to get your armpits caked in dirt, and my children are SKILLED.
- Mini potty. NOT JUST for potty training. I LOVE having a potty in the car for road trips and camping. We can stop and pee virtually anywhere, and even I use it!! (tmi? Maybe..) ALSO... if you are like me, you have to potty EVERY NIGHT AT 3 AM. And, if you're like me, you really don't want to feel around for your shoes, put them on, go outside, drop your jammies, and then while you are tinkling in the woods, you just KNOW there is a bear waiting to eat you and/or something to jump up inside your drawers. SO...problem solved. Mini potty INSIDE the tent with BABY WIPES conveniently placed next to it...Then all you have to do is open the door, and send the #1 flying into the bushes and you're back in bed in a matter of seconds.
- BEAR SPRAY....duh. Spray the bears. If you are not Montanan or have never camped in bear country, allow me to explain bear spray. It's a big, hairspray-sized can of pepper spray with a picture of a evil, murderous bear on the label. Basically it's for spraying bears that are trying to eat you or your loved ones. Can't be too careful, I guess.

#6. I pack for a trip like nothing you've ever seen. The back of my van looks like an award winning tetris game. The cooler, the camp stove, the chairs, the sleeping bags and the what have you's are all perfectly arranged in a beautiful combination of order or use (when setting up camp) and ease of access when stopping off for a roadside picnic snack or photo op. It's a beautiful sight to behold, but even more, it's something you should NEVER touch or try to rearrange, or I will absolutely bite your head off. Just. Ask. Rich. :)

#7. I can apply a generous amount of both bug repellent and sunblock to my entire family in under 5 minutes. I should add the to my resume....

This is getting lengthy, so let me summarize the other amazing things I did THIS camping trip real quickly...I removed a big fat splinter from Macy's thumb using a pair of pliers, spoke Chinese to real-for-real Chinese people, made my children speak Chinese to said residents of China, ate amazing ice cream, found out that the town of Waterton, Alberta, Canada doesn't not like strollers or baby backpacks ( and children for that matter), ate my weight in Smarties ( like Canada's version of M&M's only WAY BETTER), took an international boat ride from Canada to Goat Haunt, Montana and passed by the US/Canada borderline, which is NUTS because they actually cut a big distinct line through the forest to mark the actual border. I didn't get a picture but THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE did. It's kinda freaky to me for some reason. Anyways... someone send me the award for queen mama of camping, because not only did I do this shotgun 2 day camping extravaganza, but I'm already unpacked, car cleaned out, everyone's showered and the last load of laundry is running and we've only been home for two hours...I can safely say I rocked this trip :)